This is the first time I’m posting an email forward on my blog. Because it is really uproarious, I had to post it. Enjoy!

Concepts for the next Harry Potter book

It’s about time. At the rate she’s churning the books out, her youngest fans will be almost 20 by the time the seventh (and supposedly final) book is written. This is, of course, because Rowling had a very bad case of writer’s block while writing Half Blood Prince . Without being able to think of ideas, she couldn’t write a book.

This month, we suggest some great ideas for the next installment of the Harry Potter series.

1. Harry Potter and the Terrible Headache – After years of flashing pains in the head, Harry’s doctor discovers the pain isn’t caused by his scar, but a malignant brain tumor.
2. Harry Potter and the Copyright Lawyer – Harry Potter sues J K Rowling for unauthorized use of this life story.
3. Harry Potter and the Order of Fries – Harry gets a job at McDonalds.
4. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer Get Stoned – Harry discovers marijuana.
5. Harry Potter and the Road Map To Peace – Harry’s magic powers encounter something even he can’t fix: Palestinian and Jewish stubbornness
6. Harry Potter and the Year Not Much Happened – In a striking turn of events, Voldemort takes a year out from planning world domination, and has a holiday to Majorca, leaving Harry with not much to do.
7. Harry Potter and the Hobbit – Desperate for something to do, Harry reads a fantasy classic aloud to Ron.
8. Harry Potter and the Pregnancy Scare – Harry and Hermione have a close shave.
9. Harry Potter and the Order of Whiskey – Harry realizes magic scars aren’t the only thing that can make your head hurt.
10. Harry Potter and the Years of Therapy – Harry takes a while to recover after walking in on Dumbledore in a hot, steamy session with Dobby.
11. Harry Potter and Friends On Ice – Towards the end of the franchise, the money making attempts go decidedly down market.
12. Harry Potter and the Dark Secret – Proving that Dumbledore is driven by the same lustful urges as any man, he and Harry share moments of pleasure, and a dark secret.
13. Harry Potter and the Crossover – Harry Potter teams up with the girls from Charmed to defeat Lord Vader.
14. Harry Potter and the Enormous Bill – Harry discovers that his education at Hogwarts wasn’t covered by his inheritance after all. Notable excerpts include applying for a bank loan, cleaning windshields at the intersection of Diagon Alley, and making monthly repayments.
15. Harry Potter and the Deluge of Spam – Harry goes online and discovers not even magic can stop spammers.
16. Harry Potter and the Plothole – Harry and friends defeat Voldemort, but there is no indication as to why and how.
17. Harry Potter and the Magic Wand – Harry discovers Viagra.
18. Harry Potter and the Matrix – Harry dodges bullets for 300 pages.
19. Harry Potter and his True Identity – After an encounter with his old friends Michelangelo, Raphael, and Leonardo, Harry realizes that he is the long lost “Piccasso” ninja turtle.
20. Harry Potter and the Chamber Pot of Secrets – Harry finds a magical toilet and decides that he is tired of being a wizard. In this 300 page thriller, Harry retires to the magical Chamber Pot and reads a lot of interesting magazines.
21. Harry Potter Find Poison Oak – In this new 924 page thriller Harry finds poison oak and goes on a 900 page itching spree, in the last few pages Harry discovers that he can make himself stop itching by a fairly simple spell, “itchnomore”