The United Alliance of Clowns never ceases to entertain. We have a Puppet Minister who’s been repeatedly clobbered on the nuclear deal and insists on putting himself up for more clobbering.

His so-called junior Cabinet Ministers merrily do their audacious will: they’re accountable only to Madam. While the “white collar” ministers like the PM, Chidambaram, et al talk about “sustaining growth rates,” “market correction,” “more reforms,” “thrust on infrastructure,” their other colleagues like Arjun “Slaughter” Singh, Meira Kumar, Lalu and the rest are more concerned with social justice as a route to prosperity. The former has few takers in the media while the latter has an army of supportive, sympathetic journalists and bloggers.

This lengthy preface was required for what follows.

Here’s the latest platter from this medley of clowns.

After kicking up a storm by trying to conduct a survey on Muslims in the Army, the Centre appears to have already made a headcount of Muslims, SCs, STs and OBCs in the judiciary.

The earlier attempt to divide the armed forces was, in hindsight, done in haste and therefore abandoned quickly. This time, the UPA crooks have been careful, it turns out. They’ve done the deed before it leaked to the press.

The Judiciary is no angel but this move is going to add several layers of dung to the already-stinking pit. All in the name of social justice, obviously.

The second letter was sent just 14 days later — on September 14, 2005 –telling them that the details were required by a high level committee constituted by the PM on status of Muslims for preparing a report on social and educational status of Muslims.

Right. So “Mr. Clean” Puppet Minister is also party to this crime noble endeavour of uplifting the minorities. Further,

The details sought included categorising the Muslims into OBCs and ‘all’ (general). The proforma also classifies Hindus into SC/ST, OBCs and ‘all’ and starts from the advocate general right down to the munsif. The letter has asked the judges to give the details of Muslims in the prescribed proforma within one week.

This is a new development. So Muslims are no longer Muslims but Other Backward Classes. Which means they’re Hindus because there’s no concept of caste/class in the Religion of Peace which preaches Universal Brotherhood. This also means that the OBC “Muslims” (a misnomer if you haven’t already figured out) will now be treated as Kaffirs. Or maybe I misread this whole thing. According to several definitions of Indian secularism, Muslims can be Muslims and OBCs together. Herein lies the answer to all of the West’s problems dealing with Islam: their definition of Secularism is pretty clear. All they need to do is adopt the Indian definition, which is fluid and can accommodate all needs and can be amended to suit the situation at hand.

That is not all; there’s yet another reason for this headcount exercise.

The final letter that was sent by Singh to the judges on February 13 (number 286-315) was more specific. It sought details about additional district judges, sessions judges and munsifs appointed after 2000-01. The judges were asked to fax these details.

According to sources, this data is being sought to look into the appointments made during the NDA regime. Sources indicated that such exercises may have been conducted by all registrars of High Courts across the country.

Justice should be tailored to fit your party.