Welcome a new oxymoron to the English language, courtesy a Holy Englishman: caring colonialism. Like burning ice and free slave.

Dr Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, who officially leads nearly 80 million Anglicans worldwide, told a British Muslim lifestyle magazine that the British experiment in India was an example of caring colonialism.

The word choice of His Holiness is revealing: British experiment, India as the lab. As I write this, I feel that’s a good term to capture the essence of what the British did to India. The Holy See was obviously conscious of his intended audience. But I was talking about the new oxymoron. Williams defines it thus:

It is one thing to take over a territory and then pour energy and resources into administering it and normalising it. Rightly or wrongly, that’s what the British Empire did, in India for example…

Rightly or wrongly is exactly right. The White Man’s Burden and all. Reminds me of how a British army man justifies colonialism in Exodus:

Somewhere in God’s scheme of things he gave us the burden of an empire to rule…

The catalogue of Britain’s sins in India are mountainously documented, so it is redundant to mention them here. What is worth observing here is the Holy See’s target: the US as a global hegemonic power, etc. The mention of Britain’s caring colonialism is merely incidental. Britain’s Muslims would nary care about the India Experiment but they’d perk their ears up in approval at the slightest criticism of the US.

Again, I can’t fathom why Williams needs to pander to what that news report terms "disaffected British Muslims." They don’t really need it. They are happy in Londonistan.