And so it’s time to publish this blog’s only recurring feature.
The list of the Most Loathsome Indians of 2012 is short this time simply because loathsomeness has become a way of life. Some usual names that figure pretty much every year have been omitted. If this surprises you, don’t be. Instead, think. Deeply. But before that, here’s the list.
9. Girish Karnad
Charges: This Page 3-lusting, cocktail-party-regular, out-of-work, unwanted, and alleged playwright-turned-politician-turned-political playwright should’ve known that it’d have been better for him to remain silent and let others think he’s an imbecile than opening his toxic mouth and proving that he’s indeed a garden-variety imbecile. Not once. But thrice. I really wish I could be kinder to him given his advanced age but I can’t attribute to senility what I can logically attribute to his insatiable lust for a particular shade of green.
Exhibit : All his plays.
Sentence: Dispatched via time travel back to Muhammad Bin Tughlaq’s era and made to undergo a sample of Tughlaq’s genius for devising innovative, barbaric tortures.
8. Ramachandra Guha
Charges: What’s up with Guha? He seems to have made it his mission to make it to this list at any cost year after year. Especially this year. He’s written quite prolifically in 2012. Now don’t ask me what he writes because the code to decipher what he writes is yet to be found. However, a happy tiding: his lapsed-Marxist sensitivities were so severely injured by a few lines I wrote in a piece that mentions him in passing that he responded with a 2000-word piece dedicated to bashing that singular line. But that doesn’t make him any less vacuous lest you get any wrong ideas. But I still wonder by what yardstick he can be called a historian.
Exhibit: His multi-volumed lust for Nehru and Gandhi.
Punishment: Made to read my piece. Again and again and again and again.
7. The Politically Correct Sissies
Charges: Well, where do I begin? In Ayn Rand’s memorable term, the entire galaxy of poseurs who go by the name of poets and litterateurs are just moochers. Lacking in any kind of originality, critical thinking or even plain commonsense, these parasites peddle the crassest form of sociology, anthropology, and victimhood narratives sexed up as literature. What are the odds that these junket-seeking buffoons can solve even a basic simultaneous equation? It was once said that those who aren’t fit for any other profession came to journalism. Replace journalism with literature today.
Exhibit: My two-part post on these parasitic pretenders.
Sentence: Made to recite the 19 table. Flog them 10 times every time they make a mistake.
6. The Indian National Interest
Charges: What once used to be the education of an opinionated mind transformed into Pragati and then into the Indian National Interest (INI) and finally into the Takshashila Institution. Those who’ve been around since the early days of blogging will testify to the fact that this has been a classic case of crass, regressive evolution to the point that there’s nothing Indian or National or Interesting about the INI club of mutual back-scratching blogs. If getting into the cushy Hyderabad-Nawabi bed with the violence-mongering Islamic bigot Asaduddin Owaisi represented the depths they could plumb, making a case for an “Indian version” of a genocidal desert death cult was the nadir. But you never know to what new low they’ll descend to tomorrow.
Exhibit: Cozying up to sweat-equity Shashi
Pushkar Tharoor way before cuddling with Owaisi.
Punishment: Mirror shown to the founder-in-chief of this “institution” opportunistically named after an ancient, hoary seat of learning which opposed the exact kind of political expediency that these worthies continue to display.
5. Asaduddin Owaisi
Charges: This foul-mouthed, violence-instigating, treasonous Muslim fundamentalist can’t be too far away given who figures in the previous spot in this list. The chronicle of Owaisi’s sins is way too voluminous to list here. Short of demanding that Hyderabad secede from India (remember?), this thug has pretty much done it all including chasing and beating up voters at election time. Back then, we had a Sardar Patel. Today we have the Congress party and the Takshashila Institution.
Exhibit: Threatening on the floor of Parliament, to unleash Muslim terrorism in India if we acted against Muslim immigrants from Bangladesh into Assam.
Punishment: Made to chant the Bhagavad Gita for the rest of his life.
4. Arvind Kejriwal
Charges: No one knows what this freak is really up to. Claims to have the Magic Key to eliminate corruption in India. Wants Absolute Power to punish the Corrupt. Thinks said Absolute Power is his birthright. Thinks he’s bigger than the Indian Constitution. Abandoned his “fight” for the rights of some slum-sort of locality as soon as media light shone on him. Recently formed a Mango Man Party. Hasn’t had a single record of public service to his credit. Got thrown out by his erstwhile mentor Anna Hazare who’s now in the lurch. Highly dangerous because he’s highly self-righteous.
Exhibit: Used and discarded the RSS and Baba Ramdev.
Punishment: Bound, gagged, and transported, standing in a crowded and stinking bus to Ralegan Siddhi and then tied to a tree and flogged as per the orders of Anna Hazare.
3. Sonia’s Unholy Cabinet
Charges: Most members of this Evil Clique got really busy this year. Digvijay Singh, Kapil Sibal, Salman Khurshid and the ever-smiling evil White Dhoti figure prominently in this list. Most if not all of these scum have threatened to and have actually stifled free expression taking turns and special delight in doing so when they were not otherwise busy screwing the country in other ways. They’ve managed to convert India into a quasi-fascist state with helpful guidance and directions from the Queen. Indeed, White Dhoti is the evilest of them all. Remember how his son got a hapless guy in Tamil Nadu have a taste of police hospitality? And notice how scared I am to even take his name?
Exhibit: Where does one begin?
Punishment: Yet to be devised.
2. The Indian English Media
Charges: Sigh. Let’s begin with January 2012. The entire crew of the Indian English language media led in the front by NDTV did a really horrid job of campaigning for the Congress party in the Uttar Pradesh elections. There was no dirty trick they didn’t employ. And every single dirty trick boomeranged. The Congress party lost both Amethi and Rae Bareily. This is not to mention their old games of insinuation, obfuscation, news-choking, and inviting all sorts of shady characters to their studios. Fake the Nations, The Barkha Stops Here and the rest chugged on just as before. With the Gujarat elections in full swing, these soul-sellers are back to what they know best: pamphleteering for the Congress party, baiting the BJP, and targetting Narendra Modi. Till Radigate shredded it to pieces, they somehow managed those fake smiles and courageous outbursts and edits and opeds because they still had that veneer of credibility. Now that it’s gone forever, they neither pretend to be credible nor care about it.
Exhibit: Shekhar Gupta, Journalist of Courage par excellence, accused of land grabbing. Dutifully buried.
Punishment: Strapped to a chair, made to watch their own shows on loop.
Charges: You made it to the #1 spot on this list again. You haven’t changed one bit since last year. You are loathsome. Despite being warned last year, you continue to support puffed up retards like Arvind Kejriwal. Even if it was shown to you, you still would be unable to find your own brain. Scam after scam after scam after loot after gargantuan loot, the best you can do is to wank off to your own outrage but don’t take the time out to punish the filth that’s ruling this country. You can’t think beyond your jobs or your family. You don’t realize that you’ll have neither if you allow this filth to continue to lord over you. Your idea of going green is to strap a bicycle to the back of your fancy car. You think Eco tourism saves the environment but you don’t see that the sprawling resort you go to in the middle of a jungle was constructed by physically clearing that forest to that extent and making roads. Your idea of saving the environment is to click the “Like” button on a “Save the Earth” Facebook page and/or donating your hard earned money to every random shady NGO that claims to save it on your behalf. You still believe what the English media tells you. You are responsible for making the Times Group’s bottomline swell year after year. You don’t vote and yet you get pissed off that criminals become Ministers. You don’t even admit the possibility that there’s a correlation there. You don’t consider a career in politics or in culture because you think the former is dirty and the latter isn’t lucrative. You want everything but you aren’t prepared to work for it. You’re truly loathsome. You deserve to be at #1.
Exhibit: Continued support for Arvind Kejriwal. Continued acceptance of Congress party-sponsored evil as a fact of life. Incurable individualism.
Punishment: Living under a dictatorship.